Eye-roll

I haven’t written a post in a about a week, mostly because I was having a bit of an emotional struggle last week (largely due to PMS).  PMS mood swings are weird, it’s like taking a little something you’re bothered by and then adding crack to it.  Luckily it only lasts a couple days.  I’ve just been having a bit of a rough time adjusting these past couple weeks.  When I first got here it felt like I had a lot of things to do, I had work from home, coffee cart a few days a week, lots of Spouse’s Org events, new friends to meet, things to learn about the island.  Then June came and it’s like someone hit the brakes. I turned in my assignment from home and haven’t gotten anything else from them to work on…hopefully not because they realized I have horrible writing skills J  Coffee cart shifts slowed to once a week.  It feels like my life only consists of sitting around our quiet apartment all day, grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, cleaning, going to the gym, maybe hanging out for a bit with a friend.  I’m literally a housewife.  And I feel like if I can complain people are like “(eye roll) Whatever, you are hanging out on a beautiful island with your husband, you don’t have to work, I want your life”.  I feel guilty because that’s what I would have said.  I imagine myself sometimes in LA, sitting at my desk, looking at some pain in the ass friend of mine on facebook complaining about her boring little tropical life wishing I could trade with her and she could come work 8 hours a day at the VA.  Thinking that if I were her I’d be reading tons of books, maybe writing a book, maybe trying some internet therapy, maybe working at a school…oh the possibilities seem endless.  But in reality I feel like I’m stuck in a bit of a rut.  I would like to be doing those things but I can’t seem to find the motivation. 

This week, life doesn’t seem so bleak.  I’m determined to find something meaningful to do with my time on this island. I’ve applied for a teaching position at a local private school and I’m hopeful I’ll get it.  That would keep me busy and give me something new to complain about J  In 10 years I see myself working in a small private practice part-time doing psychotherapy, as well as teaching a couple community college classes to mix things up a bit.  If I could get a job teaching at a school it would be great because it could get some experience and see if it’s something I would like.  Plus it’s kinda nice that it’s only for a year so if I hate it, I don’t have to go back.